You know what’s one of the most hilariously misunderstood concepts we glorify like it’s a national virtue?
Brand. Loyalty.
Yep. Those two words sitting next to each other like they actually make sense. Spoiler alert: they don’t.
Let’s break it down.
“Brand” is a fancy word for some profit-chasing entity that wants your money.
“Loyalty” is an emotion you reserve for your dog, your best friend, or that one person who stood by you when you hit rock bottom, smelled like regret, and cried into your coffee.
So why are we proudly, loudly being loyal to… a corporation?
You’re Proud You Gave Away Your Money? Cool Story, Bro.
Think about it. You buy a product. You give your hard-earned, over-taxed, under-appreciated money to a company that makes stuff. They give you the product. Done. Transaction over. Everyone claps. You move on.
But no. You don’t just move on.
You tattoo the logo on your chest (okay, maybe your heart), wear their merch like you’re in a cult, and — here’s the kicker — look down on other people for not making the same choice as you.
Excuse me, what?
At what point did purchasing a phone or a sneaker or a piece of tech become a declaration of personal superiority? We’re not talking about adopting a puppy here. We’re talking about buying a thing made by people trying to hit quarterly targets.
You’re not loyal.
You’re just emotionally invested in your shopping decision.
The Real Addiction? Justifying Our Choices
This goes way deeper than products. Every friend group has that one guy who zig-zags through side roads and alleys at the first sign of traffic. He U-turns, takes shortcuts, and basically reinvents Google Maps like he’s on a mission from God. And where does he end up? Same place. Sometimes later. But with more sweat, more curses, and the smug satisfaction of thinking he outsmarted the system.
He didn’t.
He just needed to prove that his choice was better.
That’s what most “brand loyalty” really is — people defending their own decisions like they’re defending the family name.
How Cults Are Born (Seriously)
A cult isn’t always about chanting in the woods or selling your house for a spaceship ticket. Sometimes, it’s just a bunch of people who made the same decision high-fiving each other in a digital echo chamber.
“We all bought the same thing, so clearly, we’re all geniuses.”
Wrong.
You just fell for the same ad campaign and now you’re singing kumbaya over a device that’s probably made in the same factory as the one you’re mocking.
Brand cults are just emotional support groups for people unwilling to admit they could’ve chosen better.
Loyalty ≠ Gratitude
Let’s not confuse the two.
Loyalty is when your friend drove five hours at midnight because you were sad and out of pizza.
Gratitude is when a product actually works well, and you’re happy it did. Cool, clap your hands, maybe write a nice review. Then move on.
Don’t pledge eternal allegiance to a company whose CEO doesn’t even know your name. You paid for something. You got it. You don’t owe them anything — especially not your identity.
Final Thought: Be a Smart Buyer, Not a Brand Believer
Look, brand loyalty is great — for the brand. It keeps their marketing teams smiling and shareholders popping champagne.
But for you?
It’s kinda dumb.
Be loyal to people. Be loyal to values. Hell, be loyal to your barber.
But a logo? Nah.
Your choices don’t need defending. They need awareness. So don’t marry a brand. Date around. Swipe right on what works. And if it stops working?
Ghost it. You’re allowed.
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